#100DaysofHappinessChallenge > DAY 8

Day 8 > Rainbow.
I've noticed that although I am managing to post a picture a day of something that makes me smile some days I don't notice it until late at night but today it was first thing.
This rainbow hit me between the eyes on my way to the train station and the picture doesn't do it justice as it was a lot brighter but it definitely made me smile and reminded me that sometimes we have to put up with a little rain before we find something beautiful.
I think rainbows have a slightly magical feel to them and I can't help but think of them as a sign that it's going to be a good day. 

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS

I believe in loads of things; 

that red lipstick instantly lifts your mood / the significance of numbers (especially 3) / being kind to strangers / looking on the bright side / Sunday morning lie in's / some sort of after life / good music / good books / family / friends and the law of attraction.

There are different things that can make you feel good if your feeling down but a lot of the time it's external factors that you look to that work for a short time. I was having one of those rubbish weeks that you just can't shift when I came across "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne which talks about the law of attraction, this book is amazing and you need it in your life!
The basic theme is that you attract everything that happens to you, when I first read that it was pretty hard to take in, I was like "Eh, excuse me I don't WANT to feel bad or for crappy things to happen" but then they followed up with "thoughts are things" which hit me between the eyes! 

Of course what you constantly think about and put all your energy into is going to materialise because your not spending any time working on the things you want.

I have been reading about the law of attraction off and on for the last year because it's really hard to work on but I really got into it in November and my 2014 goal is to practise it more regularly. It's already given me loads of great tools on how to deal with difficult situations you come up against, for example if you don't like something you have two options that you can apply; change your attitude or change your behaviour. Situations are rarely black or white and knowing how to handle them when they pop up is empowering and definitely gives you confidence.

I thought I would give you a heads up on what I'm currently geeking about at the mo as it will probably sneak into more of my posts.
I'd love to hear if you're into the law of attraction or have any other tips on how you stay truly positive.

TGROW THAT DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

I am a happy and positive person and I get on with people. 

Although I dislike confrontation I don't avoid it at all costs and sometimes THAT thing happens that forces you to pull on your big girl pants and have that uncomfortable chat with THAT specific person.

It always astounds me how we still don't really know how to communicate with each other or articulate how we're feeling which means any difficult situations usually result in a shouting match and days of regret about how you reacted and wishing you could have changed the outcome.

A situation recently arose where I felt I was being professionally undermined, I tried to push the feeling away and listened to the little voices that were saying I was being to sensitive and not to worry about it, but I DID worry about it and I knew in my gut that I had to deal with it.

But how? I knew how I didn't want to approach it, not in an embarrassingly emotional way where you don't even get your point across.

The good thing was I had the weekend to think it over, and not in a hamster wheel style of worrying, replaying, worrying and replaying where no action is decided, but in a clear and concise manner.

This all sounded great in my head but I really didn't know where to start so I placed an SOS text to my friend Angela McDougal, I know about 3 Angela's so she is usually simply called "McDougal" and she is AMAZING! Everyone should have a McDougal in their life!

She made me aware of a conversation structuring technique called "TGROW" and it's so good I wanted to share it with everyone!

OK so before the conversation think about the structure it will have by following:

T: Topic. Both parties to agree on the topic that they will talk about. What it the main point of the conversation?

G: Goal. Agree on the goal that you want to achieve.

R: Reality. The reality of the situation of the situation. Each person will have their own perseption of the reality so they will have to discuss the present situation in detail and be specific.

O: Options. Brainstorm as many possible actions to move forward (I did this before I had the conversation so I was prepared). The important thing here is quantity NOT quality. Don't worry about how they would work or be implemented. You are being proactive by giving solutions.

W: Wrap up and when. The conversation must be converted into a decision of what action to take and the timescale of this action.

I have also noticed through conversations with friends that one reason people give for calling a meeting is because they feel another collegue is "incompetent", but before you take this perception personally it's important to know that competence is measured in three things: 1. Knowledge 2. Skills 3. Behaviour

It might be one element of your working style that is out of sync with the company or person but that can be worked on or they might actually be working incompetently.

All of this info definitely helped me take the emotional side out of the situation and come up with a clear and concise plan of action of how to move forward which ensured my positive and professional attitude remained intact. So next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable conversation TGROW it!

Hope it helps you as much as it helped me!