SHOW EVERYONE SOME LOVE

Over the last couple of weeks I've looked at self love and sisterly love but today I started thinking about the love you feel towards other people. 

As soon as I say that my mind instantly goes to my boyfriend and my best friend, the people you get on with and choose to have in your life because they're fun and they'd do anything for you and you them.

What about the difficult people in your life?

You know the ones, the family members that say inappropriate things at the wrong time or 

the friend that doesn't agree with ANY of your opinions and you start to wonder why your even friends.

How do YOU act around them?

Are you constantly on the defensive or try to limit the amount of time you spend with them? 

How about the next time you think about that difficult person you focus on the good things you love about them, go on there must be something! 

Send them love instead of negative thoughts and see how it changes your feelings towards them and then the actual relationship. This might sound like a lot of hard work and you might think why should I even bother, but think about how good YOU will feel when your not tense or aggravated before you are due to see them or when your in their company.

It's easy to love the lovable people in your life but why not show the unlovable's that you rate them too?

My friend "McDougal"s (if you read my TGROW post you'll have already heard of her,  

she's a fountain of knowledge and my "go to" if I need some straight talking advice) 

favourite quote is ~

"You get more with sugar than you do with sh**" 

Why not give the people you least enjoy spending time with a little sugar? 

You never know it might sweeten them up. 

TGROW THAT DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

I am a happy and positive person and I get on with people. 

Although I dislike confrontation I don't avoid it at all costs and sometimes THAT thing happens that forces you to pull on your big girl pants and have that uncomfortable chat with THAT specific person.

It always astounds me how we still don't really know how to communicate with each other or articulate how we're feeling which means any difficult situations usually result in a shouting match and days of regret about how you reacted and wishing you could have changed the outcome.

A situation recently arose where I felt I was being professionally undermined, I tried to push the feeling away and listened to the little voices that were saying I was being to sensitive and not to worry about it, but I DID worry about it and I knew in my gut that I had to deal with it.

But how? I knew how I didn't want to approach it, not in an embarrassingly emotional way where you don't even get your point across.

The good thing was I had the weekend to think it over, and not in a hamster wheel style of worrying, replaying, worrying and replaying where no action is decided, but in a clear and concise manner.

This all sounded great in my head but I really didn't know where to start so I placed an SOS text to my friend Angela McDougal, I know about 3 Angela's so she is usually simply called "McDougal" and she is AMAZING! Everyone should have a McDougal in their life!

She made me aware of a conversation structuring technique called "TGROW" and it's so good I wanted to share it with everyone!

OK so before the conversation think about the structure it will have by following:

T: Topic. Both parties to agree on the topic that they will talk about. What it the main point of the conversation?

G: Goal. Agree on the goal that you want to achieve.

R: Reality. The reality of the situation of the situation. Each person will have their own perseption of the reality so they will have to discuss the present situation in detail and be specific.

O: Options. Brainstorm as many possible actions to move forward (I did this before I had the conversation so I was prepared). The important thing here is quantity NOT quality. Don't worry about how they would work or be implemented. You are being proactive by giving solutions.

W: Wrap up and when. The conversation must be converted into a decision of what action to take and the timescale of this action.

I have also noticed through conversations with friends that one reason people give for calling a meeting is because they feel another collegue is "incompetent", but before you take this perception personally it's important to know that competence is measured in three things: 1. Knowledge 2. Skills 3. Behaviour

It might be one element of your working style that is out of sync with the company or person but that can be worked on or they might actually be working incompetently.

All of this info definitely helped me take the emotional side out of the situation and come up with a clear and concise plan of action of how to move forward which ensured my positive and professional attitude remained intact. So next time you find yourself in an uncomfortable conversation TGROW it!

Hope it helps you as much as it helped me!